Sunday, March 23, 2025

My Experiences with Chatting with Younger Women Through Social Media

 


Warning - this journal article is much longer and somewhat more personal than my usual commentaries

Over the past several months I have had some experiences chatting with much younger women who somehow find me.  In all cases I advise the young lady that I am a widower and 75 years all.  In every case the women said that age is just a number, and they thought they could learn from an older person.  The problems with chats are they are very time consuming, and I never know when there is a hiatus or if the chat relationship is over. In any event, I feel that there is nothing to gain by chatting with someone from afar as there is no chance of meeting them in person.  You never know when the person is assuming another identity (catfishing).  Inevitably the chat ends.

 Let me relate a few experiences:

I “met” Carolyn on Facebook when I made “friends” with her when I should not have.  She said she lost her husband two years ago and had a five-year old son.  After several days of chatting, she said she desperately needed money to pay her rent.  Like a fool, I sent her a small amount of money.  A few days later she asked me for more money, and I refused.  That chat ended but seven months later she restarted the chat.  She said she moved from West Virginia to Ohio and the abruptly ended the chat again. Conclusion – Romance Scam.

Connie read one of my Facebook posts and said they were interesting and wanted to become friends.  When we started chatting, she said she was in the U.S. Army stationed in Syria.  She started to call me Honey and Dear and said I was her best friend.  How could I be her best friend if we never had met. Romance Scam.  She asked me to buy her a Steam Card since she could not use her credit card until she returned to the U.S.  I refused and she ended the “relationship”.  About a year later I got a friend request from Tessa.  When I saw her picture, it was Connie.  It was obviously a Catfish.

Allyson like Carolyn lost her husband at a very young age.  She has two small children and lives near Baltimore.  She was originally from Memphis, but moved away after both her parents, husband, and sister passed away.  After a while she started to call me honey and dear, so I suspected a romance scam coming.  I was right as she abruptly said she had no food in her house and needed money to feed her kids.  Goodbye.

I “met” the following three women recently.  All of them were Asian, in their mid-30s and divorced.  In the three cases they claimed they got my number by accident on WhatsApp  or Telegram.  I explained to all of them that I was old enough to be their father and a widower and they said they could learn from an older person.  “Age is just a number.”

Cindy said she saw my number in her company’s phone book, but my name was not there.  She worked as a data analyst, financial risk analyst and fund manager in San Francisco.  She lives in a large house worth over $1 Million so I was confident that she was not going to hit me up for money.  We chatted for a while on Telegram.  She even said I could stay in her house if I visited SF and offered to meet me whenever she visited NYC for business.  I had a brief video chat with her, but she cut it short after a minute or two.  She offered me advice about buying bitcoins.  After I told her I wasn’t interested, she stopped chatting.  This was about three days ago.  Perhaps she was attempting to get a commission on a sale of bitcoins to me.  Who knows if she will come back.

Anna who lives in Beverly Hills found me on WhatsApp.  She seemed friendly and like the others were not concerned about the age difference.  We had a nice chat about food among other things.  I don’t sense any malicious intent on her part, but I haven’t heard from her in over 24 hours.  I will leave the ball in her court and let her restart the chat if she wants to.

This last chat is ongoing.  Emily from Singapore and lives in St. Petersburg.  I met her on her business account on Telegram.  She then moved the chat to her personal Telegram account and said that her name was Genevieve, but I should call her Gina.  The chat has gone reasonably well appears not to be a romance scam.

This is much longer than my using journal entries.  Over the past 20 years I have written in this journal since I find it easier to express myself in writing than it is verbally.  I have never been a good conversationalist.  I am careful with these chat relationships as I will not give anybody money after I learned my lesson from Carolyn.  I sense that for most of these chats there was no malicious intent from these women.  I don’t understand why these women want to chat was a man old enough to be their father. People must socialize in person with people about their own age.

I have found it difficult to make new friends after my wife Karen passed away.  I have lost confidence in myself in social situations.  I am afraid to get involved in dating again as I remember too many bad experiences decades ago.  I guess that is a consequence of having an excellent autobiographical memory.  Subconsciously, I am using these chats as a substitute for dating.

Enough said!


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